High school crush

2 days ago a song pop up in my head -

Felix Agus's "Aku Pencintamu"

Memories coming back to me.

Every evening during those days I will sit on the staircase in front of the surau, watching you and your rugby team come back from training, entering the dining hall and have your dinner.

Then after prayer, there's a ritual of shaking hands off all male students before going to line up to go to study prep, I remember that every time when it's our turn, you took more time than others to let my hand go(maybe I was delusional, maybe not).

I still remember that my heart thumping so fast every time we passed each other at the school hallway. I miss that feeling.

Remember one time you borrowed my small portable radio (the one that need to plug with headphone, size of two thumbs), I was so happy and guess what, I still keep it as in remembering that we once shared a thing (stupid as it sound but yeaa, anything can do).

The other moment is one time after the tiring sports day, that night you laid down beside me and your head touch a bit on part of my body, I was sooo happy and wish time to stop at that time. 😢

I miss you, wish I could turn to that time again so that I could confess my feelings towards you, and even if you rejected me, I wouldn't have live this kind of miserable life right now. 

M.C.O

And..... Movement control order again.. 

I hope there is no delay in all my business..

There's many thing I wanna do - holiday with the girls, move to new house, get a new partner and pets etc etc.

Sighhhhhh 😩

Wish covid weren't real. 

Dew

So today I watched this Thai BL movie, Dew..

The atmosphere, the theme, the plot, reminds me to our friendship when we was in Perlis.

But nothing we can do, the law and our culture forbids us to be what we wanna be. 

We pretend that the feeling was not real, but it is.. 

Then we both moving on with our life, however deep inside I'm still loving you. 

Good movie BTW, you guys should watch it. 

Watch the trailer here : DEW